The Master Of Chatrooms
by skylertheTimeLord
Summary: Chatroom fic. mostly it'll be about the master using a chatroom that the tardis crew uses and will probably be cracky, i just thought it'd be fun to do ;
1. Romana? Pregnant? :O

**For the Master this would be between Utopia and the Sound of Drums, for the Doctor Amy and Rory, some time after they got married, but it may vary for each chapter, enjoy :)**

**Warning: its a bit cracky and 'may' contain curse words later on. Its also going to be pretty random depending on my mood**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or doctor who :(**

The Master was _bored_. Stupid human ape politics. He didn't understand why the Doctor loved them so much. He of all people should hate them. Most of them were lieing through their teeth and everyone with half a brain could see it but they acted like they didn't. That or they were stupider then the Master thought. He sighed, this become-the-prime-minister plan was becoming increasingly dull. He wished the Doctor would show up already and make things interesting.

He sighed again and logged onto his computer and started looking through 'chat rooms'. Lucy told him about them a month ago and he'd spent most of his free time messing with people. A few times the police had tried to track him down but it redirected them to other houses around the world, some of the houses he sent them to didn't even own computers.

He searched 'TARDIS' just to see what would come up. He wasn't exspecting to get any results so when a chat room called 'The TARDIS crew' popped up he was suprised.

"Oh, this is just too perfect!" He mused aloud, practically laughing.

He went into the chat room as 'invisible' so no one knew he was watching the conversation:

Occupants: MrPond, BowTiesAREcool, AmyP

AmyP: all im saying is bow ties r a little...silly

BowTiesAREcool: have you seen my user name, Pond?

BowTiesAREcool: What do you think Rory?

MrPond: ...

MrPond: i think maybe i should stay out of this..

AmyP: Rory thinks so too, right Rory?

MrPond has logged off

BowTiesAREcool: HA!

AmyP: He dnt say they were cool!

BowTiesAREcool: He didn't agree with you so he's on my side

AmyP: im married to him, hes on my side by defult

BowTiesAREcool: Isnt

AmyP: is

BowTiesAREcool: Isnt

BowTiesAREcool: HA! I win!

BowTiesAREcool has logged off

AmyP: DOCTOR!

AmyP: Loggin off doesnt make u the winner!

The Master raised his eyebrow and wondered is this 'Amy' women knew that 'logged off' meant they were no longer in the chat.

From what he could make of the conversation, AmyP and MrPond, aka Rory, were married. Probably human if they were friends with the Doctor. BowTiesAREcool was probably the Doctor. Did the Doctor develope some fetish with bow ties? The Master laughed, he couldn't wait to see this new regeneration.

Suddenly the Master had an idea. He changed his username and logged into the chat.

Romana has logged on

AmyP: Hello?

Romana: Hello :) my name is Romana, do u know the doctor?

AmyP: Yh actually im traveling with him. omg r u a past companion?

Romana: No, im his past lover. can u tell him that Romana is in the chat room, saying she survived the Time War (yes, it deserved capitalization) and shes pregnant with his child? Thanks ;)

AmyP: um..brb..

AmyP is AFK

The Master laughed madly, trying to imagine how the conversation would go between the Doctor and his companion.

BowTiesAREcool has logged on

Romana: Hello Doctor! Long time no see!

BowTiesAREcool: Romana? How are you alive?

AmyP has is no longer AFK

AmyP has invited MrPond

MrPond has logged on

BowTiesAREcool: Amelia! This is a private conversation!

AmyP: Whats this about her bieng pregnant with ur child doctor?

BowTiesAREcool: What? o.O

BowTiesAREcool: We can't even have children like that anymore!

MrPond: Then how did u have them? o.O

Romana: Looming

MrPond: Whats looming?

Romana: Nvm that!

BowTiesAREcool: How could you possibly be pregnant? and also, how r u alive?

Romana: pff like that would be enough to get rid of me.

BowTiesAREcool: ...

Romana: ...

BowTiesAREcool: And? the other thing?

Romana: OH yes. well how d'you think?

BowTiesAREcool: But we didn't even...you know..

Romana: that you know of -wink-

Romana: now, back to the point, i need u to take care of little dr jr bc im running away with the Master.

BowTiesAREcool: Wait, what?

Romana: sorry is this regeneration blind or just stupid? I DONT LOVE U, IM RUNNING AWAY WITH THE MASTER AND LEAVING U WITH LITTLE DR JR

AmyP: This is just like a soap opra!

MrPond: ikr

BowTiesAREcool: PRIVATE CONVERSATION, PONDS!

Romana: Actually i'd rather ur pets see this, so they know how u knocked me up and then tried to kill me!

BowTiesAREcool: I didnt knock you up D:

BowTiesAREcool: since when do you call my friends pets?

Romana: ...

BowTiesAREcool: MASTER!

AmyP: Ooo things r getting kinky!

BowTiesAREcool: What?

BowTiesAREcool: No!

BowTiesAREcool: Thats his name!

AmyP: But i thot 'her' name was Romana?

MrPond: Actually i think this 'master' guy was posing as romana

BowTiesAREcool: YES exactly!

Romana: Actually no

BowTiesAREcool: ...really?

Romana: Oh alright, ta-da! its me, your Lord and Master!

Romana has changed their name to TheMaster

AmyP: Ooo its just like in movies when the characters pull their masks off!

TheMaster: haha exactly! :D

BowTiesAREcool: How are you alive? I saw u get sucked into the Time Lock!

TheMaster: u should know better than to think that wou- wait, what? but i wasn't even there when u locked the Time War..

BowTiesAREcool: ...

BowTiesAREcool: TIME TO GO PONDS!

BowTiesAREcool has logged off

MrPond has logged off

AmyP has logged off

TheMaster has added The TARDIS Crew chatroom to favorites

**may or may not continue, i just thought id be fun to do one of these ;) R&R**


	2. new features

**Disclaimer: I dont own doctor who or any of the characters :( nor do i own a lazer screwdriver :(( sad face**

Occupants: BowTiesAREcool, AmyP, (TheMaster is invisible)

AmyP: who would call themselves the 'master'? y dnt any of u time lords use real names?

AmyP: i mean, having to call u dr all the time is bad enough, now if ppl come onto this chat they'll think its some kinky sex thing .

AmyP: well i guess drs not that bad, but ive been traveling with u for over a year and still dnt kno ur real name..

BowTiesAREcool: the masters always been a little..eccentric..

The Master scoffed at the moniter. Yeah, HE was the eccentric one, not the man who walked around wearing a stick of celery, or an extremely long scarf, and apparently now BOW TIES.

BowTiesAREcool: what ever u do dont talk to him, hes dangerous and hes a bit mad..well alot mad...and hes from the past and as river would say; spoilers!

That got the Master angry, he was not mad! He started furiously hacking the chat room and adding his own features.

AmyP: yh yh -eyeroll-

BowTiesAREcool: why does no one ever listen to me?

TheMaster has logged on with a Lazer Screwdriver

BowTiesAREcool: ...

AmyP: ...

BowTiesAREcool: Since when can u do that on chatrooms?

TheMaster: Since now ;)

TheMaster has shot BowTiesAREcool with a Lazer Screwdriver

BowTiesAREcool cannot send messages for 60 seconds while they Regenerate

TheMaster: -evil laughter-

AmyP: Can u show me how to do that? :O

TheMaster: hmm...

TheMaster is Thinking

TheMaster: No.

AmyP: u dnt need to be rude..

TheMaster: actually i do, it comes with the job, being the villain and all

AmyP: I just wanted to shoot the doctor a few times -pout-

TheMaster: Oh fine

TheMaster has given AmyP access to Extra Features

AmyP: yay :D

AmyP has invited MrPond to chat

MrPond has logged on

AmyP has Smooched MrPond

MrPond cannot send messaged for 60 seconds while they catch their breath

BowTiesAREcool can now chat

TheMaster: Oh Rassilon, mr bow ties back -eyeroll-

BowTiesAREcool: that was completely unnecessary!

TheMaster: its just a chatroom doctor, dont have a heart attack..

TheMaster: actually, go ahead, and make it a double heart attack

BowTiesAREcool: Im not the old man here, ur the oldest.

BowTiesAREcool: ur more likely to have aheart attack than i am

TheMaster: i checked ur profile, ur 909

BowTiesAREcool: and how old r u?

TheMaster: ...

TheMaster: NOW AMY!

AmyP has Stolen BowTiesAREcool's Bow Tie

BowTiesAREcool cannot send messages for 60 seconds while they find their Ridiculous Accessory

MrPond can now chat

MrPond: I dont think its a good idea to mess with the one person who can fly the TARDIS..

TheMaster: Oh please, i can fly a TARDIS better than that idiot

TheMaster: I actually passed my exams

BowTiesAREcool can now chat

BowTiesAREcool: I passed mine!

TheMaster: Oh yh, 5th times the charm eh?

AmyP: 5 times? lmao! Is that y the TARDIS is always so bumpy? im suprised u passed at all!

TheMaster: and when he finally did pass it was only by 1 percent

TheMaster: but i still say Barusa bumped him up a few points so he didnt have to deal w/him

BowTiesAREcool: he did not!

TheMaster: did so, id ask him if it wasnt for u killing all the time lords and all...

BowTiesAREcool: ...

TheMaster: well, cya! -waves-

TheMaster has logged off

MrPond: akward...

AmyP: I like him

BowTiesAREcool: -sigh-

**Thanks to those of you who have read and added this story(if you can call it that..) to favorites and story alerts :) and thank you to Rwyf-Yn-y-Blaidd-Drwg for the review :D i'll keep your suggestions in mind for future chapters and such..your comment put me in a really good mood after i read it :D glad you liked it :) i dont think this chapters as funny as the last one but i didnt want to have the master impersinating people two chapters in a row. R&R :D**


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